girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
