Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
