Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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