Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
