i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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