At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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