If that was your dad, he is hot
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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