So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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