You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize