it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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