Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
