Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
