Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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