I'm jealous of your bromance
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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