I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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