My friends, they love my intelligence
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize