Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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