if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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