Whod you bang
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize