Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
