We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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