yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
