i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
