UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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