i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
