Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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