69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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