I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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