i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
