Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
