It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize