R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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