OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
