In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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