p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Only a mothe r could love this liver
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
