I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My hand turned me down
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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