YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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