Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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