ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize