I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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