Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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