OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
