Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize