The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
