I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
