We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My penis needs a shock collar
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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