suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
