I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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