my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
