Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
