I accidentally burped into my bong.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Brb crying the tears of my youth
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
