You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
