Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
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tequila makes me forget i have legs
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
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My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
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