I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
