So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize