so explain again why im purple
no
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
