his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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