my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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